If we listen to our words, not just how we say them, but words we subconsciously choose to express ourselves we learn a profound amount about our beliefs, patterns and fears.
There are certain words that are often used that hold a big key to understanding our hidden agendas or fears. Are we seeking approval through our word choices? Do we choose certain words so that we don’t have to stand in the full awareness of who we are? Are we afraid to play big, because we don’t want others to play small? Are we afraid to ask for exactly what we want because we fear being seen as demanding, selfish, greedy, or a b*tch?
Lets take a look at some word choices shall we?
There are many words we say, often on a daily basis – the big ones which you probably are familiar with are things like “I can’t”, “this is too much”, “If only,” but one that is less recognized but in my experience is the most disempowering is the word “Just”. It is one that I have begun watching in myself. Often it comes out when I am trying to explain myself, or I am writing an email to someone. “I just wanted to…”, “Just checking in…”, “I just thought…” “just my two cents..”, “just wanted to help”, “just an idea”, “I’m just a…”
Just is a word that is very disempowering, it shows that you’re afraid to articulate what you feel, want, or need. You’re afraid to set healthy boundaries. You’re afraid to seem pushy, demanding or too smart.
But in reality, its because you’re afraid to stand and be seen. To face being rejected. In my experience this is most common in women, rather than men. Men fortunately are often seen as being strong when asking for what they want or need. Women however have been raised to believe that nice girls don’t..you know the rest.
This is common not just in business (there’s that word again), but in our personal lives as well. How often are we downplaying our strengths, needs and wants, and boundaries?
How would it feel to not have to justify or downplay, and just be completely honest and straightforward with what you need or are wanting?
To stand in the full beingness of who you are and see your worthiness..as much as everyone else’s?
For me it has required me to stop and notice the feelings that come up when I don’t hide behind the word ‘just’. It leaves me in a very vulnerable place, and has made me realize how deep those fears of not being accepted, respected and loved for who I am.
How often do you find yourself saying “just” on a daily basis?
What can you replace it with? I haven’t found a great replacement word yet, but maybe thats the point. For me so far it has meant taking longer to respond until I find a clear way to say what I need or want, and letting go of my attachment and need for approval when hitting the send button 🙂
Empowerment begins with the smallest of words 🙂
P.S. I had to edit this post a few times to remove all the “just’s”! My personal goal this week will become more conscious of the words I put out in the world.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! is “just” a word you use often? Are there other words that you have found are disempowering to you? which ones and why?
Post your experiences below, and invite your friends into this discussion!
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