What to do when everything falls apart

So much of life is spent wondering “am I on the right path? “, “did I make the right choice?”, “what am I here for?”, “what am I meant to be doing?”

And it seems that the longer that we are here, the more complex these questions become.

We have realizations, experiences, we change, we grow, and yet it doesn’t get easier to find our answers.  Even with intuitive insight it can often seem like we are flying blind.  But like a puzzle that is missing pieces, we can really only gather our information, and hints from what pieces seem to be most available to us, the pieces around the gaps, to try to make sense of everything.

Most of our answers, which aren’t really ever detailed enough for our minds, seem to come through periods where we have the least amount of knowledge, safety, security, and support – times where it seems like we have absolutely no idea what to do, where to go, or even how to be.

Who are we when these periods arrive?  As they usually seem to come when we doubt even our own cores.  What remains when everything seems to fall apart, relationships, health, money, career, family, home?

It seems however that even though periods like this are the most difficult, and the most unknown, they are also the most alive we likely have ever felt.  Freedom is within us at these times, even if we don’t know what to do with it, and the thought of doing anything seems overwhelmingly paralyzing.

It is at these times, that the answers to those life defining questions are most available to us.  Why?

Because everything that served as a distraction before, is now no longer center stage.  It has shown us what is ‘real’ in our lives by showing us what isn’t.  And what remains, as fragmented as it may be, is what can show us the way into our own being.

This is not a place where the mind can dwell, and be sure that it will do all it can to keep you from going any deeper than the surface.  How does it do this?

Fear. It will appear to be the biggest fear you’ve ever encountered, as believable as if your own survival depended on you avoiding (that choice, that path, that experience, that anxiety) at all cost.  And, in a way that mind is right.

With its facades of reality, it would not survive the plummet into that unknown.  It cannot exist there, because it is the place of pure potentiality, which doesn’t compute to a mind that relies on so called ‘facts and figures’, a past and a future (which don’t exist).

It can only exist in it’s illusory box of stability and security, which doesn’t touch upon any of the vulnerability that is required to plunge into the abyss of nothingness, where anything could happen.

Why are we so afraid of that ‘anything’ – let’s be honest here, it is very likely the reason that we feel so stuck, so unhappy, so frustrated, or angry, or bored is because we already know what the alternative is, we’ve explored that box of stability to it’s very end, and we’ve found nothing of value.  But ‘anything’, well, anything just happen!

It is unpredictable, an adventure, a roller coaster that doesn’t have an end, and the one who ventures forward, is not the one who returns, at least not the same anyways, although the mind would have you believe that you would never return at all.  But of course, that’s it’s job, and it’s good at it.  So, what to do?

You may have begun to realize that there is nothing you can do to stop it from happening anyways, the only choice you actually  have is whether or not you choose to resist it, and cause and perpetuate your own suffering.  Or if you choose to allow it to come, meeting it fully, with open arms, ready to embrace it, however it looks, however uncertain and scary it may be.  None of life has ever been within your control, your body operates independently of you, your heart pumps, your lungs breathe, the tide turns, the trees grow, the birds fly, the weather changes, and you are there as an observer.  The only choice you have in all of it, is whether to enjoy the ride, and grow with the changes, or to kick and scream every step of the way.

This your life, your only opportunity to meet who you are, what you are fully and completely.  To see what is real, and what doesn’t really matter anyway.  Will you take the chance to find your happiness, your peace, your joy – nice ideas in theory of course, but what would it feel like to live them?  To be them?  Would you feel like you are living your potential, your path then?

Why not find out…

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